Overly Wordy

one more thing

2009-05-11T21:56:00.002-05:00

"Language is fossilized poetry" -Emerson

"Dag nab it" -My mother (what does this mean? ...urbandictionary.com says, "Damn it")

...and that's how I became a man.

Buzz Words

2009-04-28T00:28:00.004-05:00

Tweet -a typical insignificant update of someone who is a member of the online community, Twitter. Ex: "I just brushed my teeth. It's going to be a great day!" OR "I've got the hiccups."

Blackberry prayer -hunched over and self absorbed in text messaging on a mobile (UK term) usually facial muscles are tense with concentration.

Edible estates -digging up your lawn and growing something you can eat in its place.

Staycation -a vacation minus the expenses, traveling, and tan

://Edit042809

Permaculture -creating sustainable ways of living; organic farming

Brain -performing fellatio

...and that's how I became a man.

Variety of English: Jamaican

2009-04-22T14:04:00.002-05:00

WARNING! This is depressing.

Jamaican English uses a variety of both British English and (more recently) American English. They tend to drop their "r" in words such as "water" and "fair" but not in words like "car" and "dare". Jamaican Patois is a creole and is used as the informal way of speaking in Jamaica. JP doesn't have a written form and Standard English is what Jamaicans learn to read and write using. JP can be found in literature, the same way that American black slave dialects can be found in literature but won't be found written anywhere else. The Jamaican accent is very similar to Irish.

The country of Jamaica (in general) holds extremely homophobic morals. It is against the law to be a gay male and if found guilty, the accused can be sentenced to 10 years in jail. Because of how the law is written, it isn't illegal for women to be a lesbian, however, they are not abstinent from brutal hate crimes. In a society were homophobia is promoted through entertainment and political figures, the English language must have also adapted to the common view held in the culture. Here are some sexual words and their meanings:

Agony - pleasure during sex

Bad bwai -(bad boy) a bold man, one who has commited a crime ("ruddy" "baddy" "rude bwai")

Baggy -underpants for a woman or child

Bald head -a straight person OR one who works for "Babylon" (the government)

Bangarang -disturbance, disorder

Batty -bottom, back side, rump, anus

Battybwoy- a gay male ("batti boy" "batty boy")

Beast -a policeman

Boasin -swollen penis or testicles

Box -to smack or hit in the face

Bucky -homemade gun

Blood clot OR pussy clot -curse word(s) (clot means cloth thus the phrase means a used tampon. It is probably used in the same way that Americans say "Douche Bag")

(The) cat -a woman's genitals

Chichiman -a gay male

(Him a) fish -gay person

Glamity -a woman's genitals

Grindsman -one who displays great prowess in bed

Hood -Penis

Maama Man -a gay man, weakling, an effeminate man

Nash -female genitalia

Pum-pum -female genitalia

Punaani OR punni -female genitalia

Ratchat -switchblad or knife (popular in Jamaica)

Tunti -female organ

Wood -penis

T.O.K. a popular music group has a song called "Chic-hi man" which promotes the burning and killing of gays. Jamaica's prime minister, Bruce Golding (please click link!), and his party used the song as a theme to help promote him in his campaign. It was used as an attack on the former prime minister who was accused of being homosexual.

Another song by Buju Banton, "Boom Bye-Bye" promotes shooting gays in the head. Here is the chorus:

Boom bye-bye

Inna batty bwoy head

Rude boy no promote the nasty man

Dem haffi dead

I have discovered a handful of homophobic Jamaican songs with promotion to the killing / hate crimes of gays. Here is another with a Standard English translation (sorry, I don't know the artist!):

Battyman fi dead!
[Gays/Queers are to be killed]

Please mark we word
[Please mark these my words]

Gimme tha tech-nine
[Give me the Tech nine (Machine gun)]

Shoot dem like bird
[Shoot them (gays) like birds]

Two women gonna hock up inna bed
[Two women in bed]

That's two Sodomites dat fi dead
[That's two lesbians who should be dead]

When yuh hear a Sodomite get raped
[When you hear of a lesbian getting raped]

But a fi wi fault
[It's not our fault]

...and that's how I became a man.

2009-04-13T19:22:00.002-05:00

Is it "I'ld" for I would?

If "I'd" is for I had?

That just doesn't look right.

According to urbandictionary.com,

I'ld- Contraction for I-Would, usually used by smart-asses or foreigners

There you have it. American's are lazy and preservation of the language appears pretentious.

...and that's how I became a man.

Excessive Plurals

2009-04-10T00:00:00.001-05:00

Why do certain words take the plural form when they are singular? Ex: pants, jeans, or trousers (although "jean material" may be an exception).

Metoo excellently explains, "The name came after WWI when so many people had one leg shot off... the single leg wore a pant... people who had both legs wore pants (plural)... the clothing laws provided people with only one leg to pay less for one legged pant... that law faded and now one legged people have to buy both, even if they only need one."

I'm not sure if I believe this, but it sounds interesting.

Smokey Stover says that it came into the English language from the French...

I'm going to cut my pant with scissor and make short.

...and that's how I became a man.

Silent Letters

2009-04-08T16:23:00.002-05:00

Today, Saint Pepsi and I got into a an arguement about silent letters in words. I pronounced the "h" in herb, where as I would not. His claim, was that letters are in words for a reason (to be heard). We argued. I tried to prove that some letters just shouldn't be heard by going to dictionary.com and listening to audio of the word being spoken. Turns out, we were both correct. It appears British English tends to pronounce the "h" in herb while American English does not. Then SP said that his way was more correct because the British are more articulate, which is crap!

Then he dared me to find one word that had a silent letter that even the Brits don't use. So I thought for a few minutes before finally declaring,

"Oedipus!".

SP never read "Oedipus Rex" so he had no idea that "Oedipus" was a fictional character in a play. When he found out, he said,

"Names don't count."

So I described to him the "oedipus complex" but he wasn't biting.

"It has to be a silent consonant."

So, I thought and thought.

"Doubt! No one says the "b" in that word,"

I triumphed. But I got shut down again.

"It needs to be at the beginning of the word. The "h" in herb should be pronounced because it is a consonant at the beginning of a word, " he argued.

"FINE!" I shouted.

Minutes passed, then finally,

"Pneumonia! Pneumonia has a silent "p" at the beginning of the word and even the British don't use it,"

I gloated. SP wallowed in defeat,

"You win. You found ONE word. Big fucking de-"

"OH! And "knock" and "knee"... and "knit" and... "knob" ... and tons of other words that start with "k-n".

So I won that verbal war. I'm prepared for more battle.

...and that's how I became a man.

Why Language Sucks

2009-04-04T19:02:00.003-05:00

There aren't any rules to the English Language. Everything seems out of place and nonsensical at times. There are so many words. Is there even one person in this world who knows every word in English, its meaning, and the correct spelling? I think not. Language is way too complicated. There is nothing governing it. It can get out of control. Language kills people. It also confuses people. It can be pleasing... sometimes. But it's usually bad. It's criminal. The anti-social understand this. They know. They get it.

"A rose by an other name would smell as sweet."

Really? You don't say! A trëndafil (Albanian), rosa (Catalan), prskalica (Croatian),

steg (Danish), roos (Dutch and Estonian), or even a rosas (Filipino) smells exactly the same way as a rose does. Wow! That's enlightenment! Thanks Shakespeare!

By the way who came up with dumb rule that "-i- before -e- except after -c- ...but only sometimes"??? Gee, that helps me out a butt-load. Which words don't apply? Huh? Besides "science" and "conscience". Two things which you obviously don't understand nor have! Sorry, I just hate the person who started that saying.

...and that's how I became a man.

Spoken Caste

2009-03-31T16:48:00.001-05:00

FORMAL

ye, you, your

1. used when speaking to strangers or those one doesn't know well

2. when one is the younger speaker

3. speaking to someone of higher rank (teacher, doctor, boss, president, ect.)

INFORMAL

thou, thee, thine

1. spoken among equals (friends, siblings, co-workers, ect.)

2. spouses (in private?)

3. spoken to anyone of a younger age or lower rank

The informal died out because if someone was to be confused about which form to use, they would default to just the formal so as not to offend. These forms of speech help establish hierarchies in society, and I happen to pleased that the informal form of speech died out. It's a little degrading.

...and that's how I became a man.

Chipotle

2009-03-28T18:51:00.002-05:00

I hate the way Kansans refuse to say words correctly. Every since the restraunt "Chipotle" came to town a few years ago, my irrittion has grown stronger. Evidentally very few people in Kansas know know how to say the word. They either don't use chipotles in their cooking or just have never heard used by someone who knows what they're talking about. A Chipotle is a dried red or jalapeno pepper used for cooking. I'm not sure why the restraunt is named this because I'm almost positive the ingrediant is never or rarely used on their products. Anyway, to set the record straight, it is Chipotle (Chi-pote-lay) .

Not chi-puddle.

Not chi-polt-tull.

Not chi-pole-tay.

Can we get this right now?

...and that's how I became a man.

Burr It's Cold in Here

2009-03-24T21:08:00.003-05:00

The colder it gets the more they drag their oh's.

-A thought I had in class about the northern American region English speakers.

...and that's how I became a man.

The Scandalous Speech of Dr. Potts

2009-03-20T23:25:00.002-05:00

I've noticed a couple of quirks in Dr. Pott's English:

When referring to the letter "w", Dr. Potts says "double yuh" instead of "double you".

She doesn't call a "u" a "yuh", so I'm wondering why there is such a clear distinction here.

Also, the word "Appellation" she pronounces it [ae pel - l ae t c I ə n] instead of .

I've never heard it this way before. And couldn't find a sound clip simular to the way I've heard her say it. The IPA doesn't do it justice.

...and that's how I became a man.

Tenses

2009-03-13T11:12:00.002-05:00

Sometimes, things other people say hurts my ears like nails on a chalk board.

"I seen the spelling in the book." -Unidentified female in class

NO NO NO NO! You SAW the spelling in the book. I understand that both words represent that the event happened in the past and not the present but there are wrong and right ways. This is how I would use this verb in the sentence:

I/You/They SEE the spelling in the book. He/She/It SEES the spelling in the book.

I/You/They/He/She/ SAW the spelling in the book.

The spelling was SEEN in the book. (I believe this is a passive tense since no particular person/thing is "seeing").

Should this agitate me? Is this what English will be developing in to?

I wonder and hope not. ... a man became I and that's how.

Marxist Literary Theory Class

2009-03-09T03:19:00.004-05:00

"All that is solid melts into air." -Karl Marx

"Nature doesn't care if your parents will ever see you again... Nature is trying to kill us." -Dayton

"A picture of an ice cream cone will not satisfy the value of the real ice cream cone that i need right now." -Dayton

"Everything was quiet but China started to dance." -tangent of Dayton

"...evolves out of its wooden brain grotesque ideas." -Karl Marx

"Painting pictures of burrrgerrrs at Burrrgerrr King is not the correct kind of labor!" -Dayton

"Burrgerr King burrgerr maker." -Dayton

"You can baffle people with these terms." -Dayton

"It really is cold there; colder than Michigan!" -Dayton

"If you don't enjoy the tone here, you will have a long and miserable life." -Dayton

"...and that is why we don't have worry about monster ants." -Dayton

"Jump You Fuckers" -title of a piece of writing Dayton recommends

"There's no accounting for taste." -Dayton

"The more machine-like you are, the better!" -Dayton

"Holy cow! Look at that! It's scary. It's trees." -Dayton

"Fishing in heaven" -my mind wondering

"I don't want to use "nature" because it's too grandiose." -Dayton

"I have stared into the abyss. Damn it. The abyss will not stare back at me." -Dayton rephrasing?

"A bastion of the real." -Dayton

...and that's how I became a man.

[untitled]

2009-03-08T20:59:00.006-05:00

he makes me sit a little straighter

back stiffened less relaxed

i keep a third eye

on this beautiful male specimen

who struts that strut

sometimes, when i least expect it

he catches my wondering gaze

and slowly lingeringly

i savor his sweet foreign eye candy

the taste lingers for an eternity

ah, the smile...

(i made him uncomfortable

no doubt from my vacant minded cow stare)

he politely smiles nonetheless,

with a smile that does not require a mouth

(although most people who have mouths

use them to smile... grin... or smirk?

to curve upwards at the edge of both lips...

in order to export positive internal emotions!

but his smile does not require a mouth

his smile can be considered a mouthless masterpiece

it's a smile that radiates from the corner

of the eyes and the tilts of the brows

he smiles at me from the window of his soul

and for an instant i lack auditory capabilities

and my bellybutton tickles and i fully understand

what it must be like to live inside of a battery...

and then the visual exchange is over

when finally i notice the warm trickling

trail of droll sliding freely down my chin

desperately i wipe my face with my sleeve

but it's too late he's noticed

and wont beam at me anymore

i grasp for a second connection

anything!

now!

nervously i... i... i fumble and start talking a thousandwordsperminute so that i don't seem dull but all the while i'm stut.tering sound.ing b b b bounces off my tongue and out my m m mouth wwwwwords are sometimes accidentally placed not -i mean words i use them incorrectly in the order that is wrongly -i mean which not right sounds -i mean of course i can't understood be -i mean i have difficulty forming coherent sentences and therefore sound like an over-caffinated yoda

and all this blundering makes me seem like a self-absorbed illiterate drug abusing bitch with a speech impediment and a hint of mental retardation

ugh!

i'm such a creep.

-c.sharp

...and that's how I became a man.

apostrophe abuse?

2009-03-02T17:46:00.004-06:00

Today I wrote "Yes, that'd be good," while instant messaging.

Meanwhile, in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself, "Self, just spell out the two words. Just write 'that would'. Now, doesn't that sound so much better. Does not it? ...Right?"

Are there rules to letter omission?

Attractive synonyms

2009-03-02T13:48:00.003-06:00

I think a lot of women put physically attractive qualities into a hierarchy. It's shameful but I confess my personal hierarchy right now. This will list what I find to be the most valued qualities and the least valued:

elegant/classy (expresses a supreme balance of sophistication and at attractiveness)

gorgeous (celebrity heart-throb status)

beautiful (something fathers say to daughters or one partner to another)

hot (trampy in a more sophisticated way than "sexy")

sexy (skanky, hoockerlike)

pretty (an insecure person of neither attractive or unattractive qualities)

adorable (babies or couples)

cute (applies to animals, toddlers, clothing, feminine gestures, or adolescent boys)

This is silly I know. To most guys I've talked to, a hierarchy with these words does not exist.

...and that's how I became a man.

Lena, Shark, & I

2009-02-18T16:41:00.013-06:00

Lena1 had a pet White-

Shark (whom wasn't white but grey2)

Us three had sailed the Ocean,

Mounting3 her Shark - we'd play!

But Sky turned dark and groaned-

Ocean folded onto Land-

Lena, Shark, & I plung'd

On flooded Lawn's damp hand!

Ground drank down all Water

& poor Shark took ill from thirst-

He coughed, he morphed, & became

A bucking Bison -Curst4!

Lena and I would flee-

But first she shed all Raiment5-

Her Knickers, jilted6 - We ran

Seeking our Elopement!

The Waves licking our Heals,

We dashed to the Forest - Deep-

Tranced with our Beguilements7-

Panting Hearts - We lie 'sleep.

-c.sharp

edit: 21-02-09://

"Lena" was the actual name of the woman in my dream. Her name means "alluring, temptress, light" (Latin/Greek). "The bright one" (Greek).
"...grey is phonetically ambiguous, while gray is not...grey denotes a more delicate or a lighter tint of gray ...gray is a warmer colour, or that it has a mixture of red or brown." In the 20th century, grey has become the standard spelling of the word in the U.K. while in the U.S. gray has a more common use. While referring to the color of the "Great White Shark," I've only found "grey" as the correct description word for the fish.
I preferred this word over "riding" because "riding" implies that one individual has more control over the other and I wanted the sense that Shark was not just a pet but also a close friend to Lena and the speaker. Also, "mounting" implies a feeling of growing higher or ascending, whereas "riding" does not. "Mounting" has a more heavenly presence to it.
I could not find the difference between "curst" and "cursed". CAN ANY ONE HELP?
Another word for clothing, apparel, or garments.
To reject or cast aside.
The action or process of being deceived or charmed regardless of want or will.

...and that's how I became a man.

Tis True

2009-02-15T23:55:00.002-06:00

"My speech is pure; thine, wherein it differs from mine, is corrupt."

-Captain Fredrick Marryat

...and that's how I became a man.

Studying IPA

2009-02-03T00:33:00.003-06:00

Today, I have figured out the difference between the "voiced interdental fricative" and the "voiceless interdental fricative"!!!

With the "voiced" my tongue sticks out further. However, with the "voiceless," my tongue tends to stay behind my teeth.

I hope that's correct. Eh!

I've been making sounds all day...

ththththththththth!

...and that's how I became a man.

classroom quirks

2009-01-30T15:48:00.007-06:00

"My mother always believed that you can't judge people by the way they look, otherwise Jesus would automaticly be a stoner." (Girl in my "Women and Religion" class)

-I agree with this crusty logic.

"I would love to throw a dildo at George Bush." (Guy in my "Women and Religion" class on the subject of Dildo Day).

-Let's face it, throwing dildos at presidents = comedy.

"Let's bring pervy back." (Brett Currier)

-Okay, but just this once.

"Why do we have to say black or Mexican? Why can't we just say lower class?" (Jimbo quoting a dumb girl)

-Because if you did, blacks and Mexican's would slaughter you.

"Oh, so you mean you're halfrican?" (Brett Currier)

-Almost. I'm not part African. But Obama? Halfrican!

"Use you're own work. You know it pretty well." (Mrs. Dayton)

-In theory.

"If you don't think beating the Nazi's was a good thing, I don't want to be eating pasta with you." (Prof. Dayton on arguing about communism over pasta)

-He's right. You can't ruin pasta with absurdities.

"Karl Marx was an obsessive footnoter." (Prof. Dayton showing a typical page from "Capital")

-I too, enjoy creating footnotes. Blogging should evolve so that I can do this on a more regular basis. Me thinks.

"History is what hurts." (Fredrick Douglason paraphrased by Prof. Dayton)

-No, it's my brain.

"We will bury you." (Scribble in my notebook)

-I'm not sure what this means.

"It was a revolution beside which the French Revolution was child's play... all this is supposed to have taken place in the realm of pure thought." (Karl Marx)

-I like his younger self better. He's got silly spunk.

"[Religion] is the opium of the people." (Karl Marx)

-So is a bachelors degree.

Please Bag the Bagels

2009-01-30T15:16:00.009-06:00

Saint Pepsi has many flaws. Here's one:
He pronounces "bagel" as [bægəl]
even when he knows it should be [beɪgəl].
His excuse is "bag" is pronounced [bæg] (the same sound as apple)
why shouldn't "bagel" ? After all, you add just a couple more letters, right?

Bag

Bagel

Consider this: Would "bag" and "bage" be pronounced the same way? -NO!

The "e" on "bage" (which isn't a real word) would be silent, thus changing the "a" from short to long.
BAGE-L

Come on Pepsi. Let's battle.

...and that's how I became a man.

4|PH48375

2009-01-25T12:46:00.009-06:00

This link to Google.com is a version where every word is spelled using a collection of symbols. For some things it is possible to easily understand but other things it takes longer. Here are a couple of examples:

Im4635 ... Images

EyE Am ph33|1n6 |u(ky ... I'm feeling lucky

5|6|\| ||\| ... Sign In

After examining this remake of Google.com, I pondered why someone would spend the time to redefine our Alphabet. It certainly is a metaphor of our digital age condition. We spoke in class on Thursday of how people sometimes TYPE USING ALL CAPITAL LETTERS and how it appears to be yelling in rage. we also spoke of how sometimes people type using no capital letters or punctuation at all and how it looks like a text message lol jk

This particular version of writing, according to Saint Pepsi, is a way in which gamers communicated to one another and was simular to text messaging. Therefore, it is similar to a code or cipher. SP said it was called "leetspeak" or "|337". I call it "Gamer Babble".

In conclusion...

Gamers are people too.

...and that's how I became a man.

WWOD -What Will Obama Do?

2009-01-22T23:24:00.003-06:00

After wishing Caitlin a "Happy Inauguration Day!" She looked me square in the eyes and said, "Get out there and Barakit" (which rhymed with "rocket"). She could have meant, "Shoot for the stars" or "Do it like Obama".

That reminds me of WWJD.

Whatever happened to WWJD (What Would Jesus Do?)?

Who started those bracelets and t-shirts that became so popular in the late 90s?

That was annoying as hell!

://researching...

"In the late 1980s, several youth ministers at churches in Holland, Michigan began putting the "W.W.J.D." inscription on buttons and bracelets, and the theme was picked up by locally-based merchandisers. These bracelets and others like them became popular, especially among young people, including Christians of both liberal and conservative varieties." [website]

"Barakit" isn't a real word or even a buzz word of course but it would be awesome if I were the first to witness a birth of a new word in our language. I, of course, would never be so lucky.

Another thing I heard recently was the word "route". It was pronounced "root" and that made me cringe. I despise that pronunciation. It's like calling a "creak" a "crick". Ugh! Shouldn't "route" always rhyme with "shout"?

Sometimes I think vitamins smell like vomit.

...and that's how I became a man.